Complaining about movies...

So my friend made me see Avatar… again… for the third time… I didn’t like it the first time! I must say though, when seeing it without the migraine inducing, over the top 3D effects, I could actually appreciate it a bit more. It actually looked pretty. My friend, who will be known as “M” here, always manages to get me to do things I don’t actually want to. See Twilight for example. How does she do this? Buy me pizza. She doesn’t even have to treat me to it, she just says “Let’s go for pizza afterwards!” Then I say yes, suffer through whatever it is, and get a delicious pizza. It’s usually worth it.

And speaking of pizza, today I saw Twilight again, voluntarily, on my own. Why? I saw Little Ashes. I don’t know why they got a bunch of British guys to play a bunch of Spanish guys, but it wasn’t too crappy… At least it wasn’t Rob that ruined it, and that’s why I saw Twilight and the Goblet of Fire again, and I must say, he isn’t that bad of an actor. But since I’m on Little Ashes, let’s get started.

I repeat, why get a bunch of British guys to play a bunch of Spanish guys? It doesn’t make any sense to me! Was Salvador Dali secretly British? And the lighting, oh, the lighting. It was the cheesiest thing I have ever seen! The lighting was cheesy! When they were kissing on the ocean, suddenly they were embraced by the bluish gleam of the moon, and when they stopped it mysteriously disappeared. Otherwise, most of the actors were only barely tolerable to watch, the dialog was stupid most of the time, everything felt a little awkward at all times (it was supposed to be so some of the time, but not all the time), the music was cheesy, the lighting was cheesy, and I’m hoping Dali makes a cloud sculpture of the writer and director of this movie up in heaven and piss on them. I’m glad I had “Another Gay Movie” to use as mind bleach. I’m not the only one that loves that movie, am I?

You know what’s sad? That’s me criticizing a movie I did actually like.

Anyhow, while Robert Pattinson is a good enough actor, I still can’t totally see the “Hot Thing” about him. Everyone has different taste, and personality matters more than anything else, but when basing someone on looks alone he is just… meh. Kind of pasty if you ask me.

This

Vs. this...

But enough about that. The movie I’m looking forwards to seeing now is actually “The Last Song”. I’ve come to the realization that I’m having a girl crush on Miley Cyrus. It’s so sad! And I’ll probably not even like the movie. I don’t care much for cheesy romance, but who knows. It’s not like I have a clue what it’s about.

And on another note...

This is an awesome mustache!

Poirot is jealous of that mustache

Yosemite Sam is jealous of that mustache

But this thing...

Let's just say, on this one particular thing, I agree with Hitler

Thing of Nothing JoBros Edition

I decided to start writing a blog. Why? I don't know. I'm not expecting anyone to read this, and I'm not even sure I want people to read it. I guess it will just be a way for me to get out all the frustration that's building up inside of me. *cue over dramatic music*

So let's talk about something that will rile anyone up. My hatred for the Jonas Brothers! They have annoyed me today more than ever for reasons I'm not totally sure of. All I did was wake up early and watched Disney Channel, and there they were. What annoys me the most is their supposedly good looks... WTF? Nick is okay looking I guess. Personally I'd prefer Liev Schreiber to grab me by the waist and sex me into oblivion, but that's just me. (On another note, my “Sexy men over 40” list is increasing by the day...) Then we have Kevin, the oldest. Okay too I guess. The only one with any kind of charm at least. Then there is Joe... Bleh! People have different tastes. That I know and respect and I rarely mind. If you like Twilight I won't judge you (out loud), but Joe? Monobrow looks retarded! (I apologize to my retarded friend. You're way more awesome than the JoBros. See you next LAN!)

I'm not the type to mock people because of looks, but I don't think ugly people are sexy either! Fine, I'm being a hypocritical bitch I suppose. I condemn people who only care about looks, and here I am complaining still. But I'm not done!

The music! Okay, I'm a Miley Cyrus fan, so I've had my share of online bashing. The music itself doesn't suck, it's okay. It's unoriginal, but so is everything in this day and age, unless you start dressing like Lady Gaga (and even she is just and exaggerated Róisín Murphy).

Why I hate their music is their voices. I have a serious voice fetish, and some people I love just because their voice is that awesome! And then we have people that I hate just because their voices suck that much. Their voices are high and squeaky. They strain their voices more than I do my body when attempting yoga. And don't go “you can't sing any better!” Is it really so that you become unable to distinguish between Michael Buble and Miss Swan just because you can't hold a note?

Didn't think so.